Hey Doug, I dreamed of you this morning, we hugged and kind of said goodbye.  It was very real.  I dreamed of you last night, we were on Edgebrook just messing around in the street in front of 211.  I think this means something.  Either way, I”m thinking of you today.  I love you, and will give Xavier a call today.  He called a couple days ago, and though I have been a bit clear headed lately, i forgot to call him back.  Maybe you were asking me to.

Peace brother.

rainy day, I like this…..  This is not some random weather report, I actually like this rainy day.  That’s about it.

This much time has gone by?  Silly string central.  Melissa mentioned that I had this blog/site thing the other day, and I felt shame regarding the fact that I have just been uploading images, but not much writings.  I’m running late to work, but i’m pretty much ready to unleash my head onto this again.  Should be decent.  Not a story here, or link there, but some writing.   Hhmmm… I wonder.

that moment when you thing you want to just open the head and let the words fall from the finger tips.  those are pretty cool moments, there are also the moment of squirm. Not the movie Squirm from the late 70′s that my mother and step father took me and my brothers to see at the Market Street Drive Inn, not that squirm.  Michael Chabon, I think that is how you spell his name, I’m not really in the hunt up the correct spelling mood right now, so Chabon it is.  He was on Fresh Air, and he was talking about a moment when he was brought to the feeling of squirm.  I like how I have just converted to using Capitalization to start my sentences a couple back.  better…?  he was talking about letting something out of your self and putting it to paper, for the world to read, knowing that there will be some kind of reactions that would make you squirm to think about how people felt about whatever it is you are sharing.  Follow?  Don’t worry, I barely got this ball rolling.  I was reading some earlier posts to this site, and I was reading them with a feeling of squirm, but I for sure wasn’t feeling any kind of future thought about those things when  was writing them.  Not like Chabon was describing when he was thinking about what i was like to write about having sex with one of his mothers friends when he was 15.  Would I have that same squirm if I admitted  it would be Cat, Rita, Then Becky in that order had I the same options as Chabon did?   I kind of like the numbness that sometimes comes from these words, don’t worry, it’s a good numb, a medicating one.  Other people medicate with far worse stuff.  I wonder if I should medicate more, or just keep it random.  I tried the forced daily writing time.  I actually think I should try that again.  See you in AM then.  Maybe I have better squirm possibilities in the morning.

I of course have the chorus to a Kanye song going on with this image.  This is in one of our famously grey painted buildings.  This is the color of choice for the “this building is vacant and most likely going to be torn down” type of building.  In the case of this building, I say burn this one to the ground, it was a former KFC/TACO BELL… (Ashland and Madison)  jobs lost and all, that sucks, but really… this food needs to be far from the hood.  I just had to shoot this…

Not sure who this artist is, but I love this shit.

A bright look for looking at dim looks, these kinds of things keep falling, they fall slowly out  of my head.  One thing that can fall forever is this sound of rain, its beat on the glass above is perfect.  A perfect soundtrack for the time.  It picks up tempo and drops again, but its a long song, a long steady rain.  I had some high hopes of photo bike riding today, you know…? getting out for a long off work kind of day, explore, shoot, explore, shoot.  Oh shoot, I was using shoot in that lame art kid way.  Nothing that serious for sure.  But the results can be the same.  What the fuck am I talking about? yeah, it’s about time you started asking yourself that.  I’m not really sure most of the time, but I like the sound of the clicking keys, and loose bit of freedom.  I like how the words appear on the screen before I really know what i’m really meant, the censor is off.  That’s always a bit of fun time.  This mirror in the image above is acrylic, and not any kind of plug for Apple.  They are doing fine without random shiny apples looking like some great apple thing.  Fuck em, though I did just get a white 1phone 4m…. I’m such a consumer ant like that.

Some words.

Fitonia, Pilea, Tillandsia, Sagina.

See Sagina…

Aside from the natural wonder of the word spinning, lets not forget to help in some way.  Thats on you to decide, small, large, easy, hard, all help is help.

Rock it.

Hello… is there anybody in there?  That Pink Floyd lyric is rattling around the day, well.. more like the second half of the day.  I feel perfectly fine, quite chipper even.  That haunt of a song is much deeper than I think I feel at the moment.  Nice sun today, even with a slight chill in the air outside right now, the sun of earlier felt summer.  That was some crazy out of order type of description just there, just then that is.  Words are feeling kind of funny right now, ha ha funny, not Faces Come Out Of The Rain, not like that, funny.  For those who feel good, I smile for you.  I feel good, I hope you smile for me.  I”m nowhere near comfortably numb.   But what a good grouping of words that is, Comfortably Numb.  Now I want to play drums.  I live in a building that is pretty chillastically nice, but I can’t play drums here.  Larry Thompson has given permission to borrow the drums, in the basement on Main St.  I’m not in a band, no working music thing, so I can’t really afford a space, fuck… the last time I was seriously feeling good about pounding out music was in the last space I was apart of.  That is pretty fucking sad.  I have been rockin some beats in my funny old sampler, and even been scratching to beats, for fun! That has been a while.  But I have not felt a huge bass sound, or drums plundering.  Oh well, for this particular evening, I will just put on some headphones and listen to some, oh..

A week ago the zipper broke on my dogs bed.  The inner pad kept potting out, I would stuff it back in, but it kept coming out.  One day, my dog Poppy who is almost 10 years old shredded the inner lining.  He is very good about not destroying stuff, and I think he did it while trying to adjust the pad, which I have seen him do lots of times.  I get home from work, and decide to toss the thing in the trash, and just let him get up on the couch, which he seeming likes to do, until I can get him a nice new bed.  he is a big one, so I have to buy a nice quality big dog bed.  Here is what is funny to me.  He seemed instantly sad about his bed being gone.  He sits on the couch, but only really when I call him up.  He now lays down on the entry way rug in the kitchen, very far from the main living quarters….. I’m looking at him right now, and he seems like he is saying “this bed sucks”.  It does, and now i’m fucking broke again.  Well, too broke to buy a 120$ dog bed.  It will be about another month before I can swing that.  So I get Poppy pout face, Great!  It’s more funny than tragic, and when he get a new bed, I think he will fully appreciate the couch time he was rocking.

I got the unlimited streaming and dvd deals from Netflix, I tore through the Wire, caught up on the backlog of Mad Men, but now i’m getting movies (DVD wise), and I can’t seem to sit down to watch them.  Not because I am busy, but because they don’t seem to interest me.  Funny.

just a thought as I look at It’s Kind Of A Funny Story sitting on my desk right now.

This is really nothing more than an acknowledgement.  On behalf of my ass, belly, thighs, and well my head.  I would like to give a simple thanks to my bicycle, thanks Buddy.  That is actually the silly name I have always thought to call my bike.   So in internet declaration form, I would like to say Thanks Buddy.  My friend who lives in LA posted on my facebook wall today, he posted “it’s finally warm there in Chicago, go ride that bike”  or something like that.  It was while I was responding to him that I realized that I always ride my bike.  There was a 5 day period this last winter that I didn’t ride, you might recall that storm that hit Chicago this last winter…. yeah of course, biking was defeated just by looking out the window.  Days after that storm, when the streets were all cleared, I was still in shock, and not up to the task.  But other than that, why not?  I have some things on my side.  My commute is about 15 blocks, not too far.  I prefer the chill side streets, but rock the main ones during the winter months, seeing as how they cleared faster.  So no matter how cold, rain, snow, or whatever, I still ride.  MAJOR PROPS to those with 5 mile bike commutes, you all rock.  If that distance was involved in my life, I might have my ass on a bus seat.  No el trains in my hood.   Thanks Buddy.

Bulls… that all remains the same.

I listend to a Joni Mitchell record today, Court and Spark.  I thought I had two albums by here, but no… just that one.  I was surprised to realize that I knew most of the songs on the record.  Ok, i’m exaggerating, I knew four songs… I find that a startling number considering I don’t think I can name any Joni cuts, Qtip rocked some Mitchell for  a hook, nicely I might add in a Janet Jackson song.  I was going to chop up a cut today, but got a bit bored of the sampler today.  I think as I get older, I have to really  set aside time to work on tunes.  I can’t just sit down and produce the way I felt I use to be able to.  That said, I have been zoning out on my back deck with the bass guitar more and more lately.   I don’t see myself as ever playing bass in some band, so really… what am I doing thinking about music as much as I think I am?  Don’t worry, I”m more puzzled by that last sentence than you could ever be.  Mint Tea time.

Dresser top romancing, rings tossed into rivers from bridges, so many trips with you.  Trips to see you.  Brooklyn, Richmond, Hartsville, Olympia.  Oh well my friend, that show ripped off the British on called Hustle.  Do your thing.

Then there was you, Camera around your neck, freckles and strawberry blonde hair.  I asked, you denied.  Not long after, we were good.  Yeah, there was you.  Dudes named Bruno and those skinny jeans, I was often seen as mean.  The cool thing is, that we are friends, your brothers, your mom, your dad, your sis.  I hope you find what your looking for, this life if flying, don’t sleep, don’t snore.

Last but not least… I saw you in the Highdive, fully wrapped in white.  That fashion statement Hoth Planet delight.  I stood in the Louvre and only saw you, no timeless beauties in oil just you.  By then the dye was cast and dry, I came back home to you and cried.  I saw the looks in photo so blue, it took me some time to see them through.  But once in focus, I realized, the words FIN’ were in your eyes.

So now i’m here sunny day off, and totally bored, with heart thats soft.

This is not some bullshit attempt of poetry, what is that anyway.  I was just thinking of times ago, when I was sure I’d be happy with love.  I do think this thing can be done, I’ve stopped looking for sure, the effort slows the process I think.  Some times I fall to that from from the past, to show me where my errors blast.  I see the smiles these days, the dates and such.  But nothing feels like it felt back then.  I was for sure a picky fella, and wasn’t ever sure about settling, but really?  I’m 40 now, i’m no longer in search.  I”m thinking things like this will just fall in place.  Lovely soul, lovely face….

Today was the hardest for some reason.  My friend told me that I should take the evening classes, when the body has been fully awake, and such… but no, I have been rocking the 10AM class.  Tight as hell, but for sure nivanic at the end.  I just rode home from hangin with two good good friends, they just moved.  They use to live like 6 blocks away, now they are out on 4800 Kedvale, looks real far map wise, but the ride there and back was super nice, especially after the soreness from yoga needed to be worked out.

Funny thing I heard today, “if i see the word vignette one more fucking time”  This was from a 60 year old woman who was talking about how the word design is thrown around a bit to much.  A woman after my own heart.

GO BULLS.  MVP MVP MVP.

I have had several songs from the band Chicago going around my head today, I have to thank Preeti for that, she gave me my only Chicago lp, and well.. now i’m going to play it.  ”Saturday in the park”

I need to leave town, I’m feeling a bit stuck in this race.  Life if good, it’s spring, so I can’t really muster up any real kind of complaints.  I can tell you, I”m feeling too poor to date.  That sucks, though it might be a good Threadless Tee.

I did not take this photo, I pulled it off of some random ass story about storms in NYC.  I just like it, it’s BedStuy SON!

Over 300 dead from weather related actions… Tornado times.  I feel for you, hang tough.  It’s only the end of April and that many dead.  The deadliest summer from tornados was like three twenty something in the late seventies, and here we are at 300 today….  The sun is out today, this is good.  Hang Tough Alabama.