I didn’t just feel like chicken, I had this crazy almost two week long jones going on for KFC, yeah, the same KFC that isn’t suppose to use Chicken in the title of the chain, because they modify the chickens so much, they don’t qualify as chicken.  Ok, maybe that last part isn’t really true, I feel like I read that in Covert Action Quarterly back in my college days, but that might be some kind of false memory.  But you know, it might as well be true.  I feel very ill from that meal.  The whole thing comes from this childhood trip to Kentucky, my Uncle Jay took me to see some speedboat races in god knows where in Kentucky, I was like 8 or somewhere near that age.  So I remember really wanting to go to KFC, or Kentucky Fried Chicken as it was called back then, because I knew one thing about this trip, we were in Kentucky.  Our household didn’t eat a lot of KFC growing up, Mom and three boys, that was a lot of chicken, i’m sure Moms wasn’t about getting more than a bucket back then, and I was a notorious fried chicken eater (thanks Grandma Susie!)  I”m kinda getting off point here… I went today, I was just feeling like “fuck it, it’s crap, but I want it!”  Yeah, I need to never ever ever ever eat it again.  I’m declaring thing right now.  I”m almost 40 years old, and i’m not eating KFC ever again.  Ok, I could see maybe being captured by some evil bad peoples in some far away land, and them feeding me rocks for a couple years, and then being rescued by some magic bears like in The Golden Compass, and them asking me in a voice that might sound like Fozzy Bear’s Voice, “You must be hungry, would you like us to park the blimp at that KFC?”…. Yeah, then I would have a two piece with that super sugar sweet coleslaw.  I for sure would.  But as for this moment, and all things being a non hostage situation… i’m done with the skinny tie wearing dude slinging simi chicken.  All Done.

August 13th, 2009 Subscribe to the RSS feed!