that moment when you thing you want to just open the head and let the words fall from the finger tips.  those are pretty cool moments, there are also the moment of squirm. Not the movie Squirm from the late 70′s that my mother and step father took me and my brothers to see at the Market Street Drive Inn, not that squirm.  Michael Chabon, I think that is how you spell his name, I’m not really in the hunt up the correct spelling mood right now, so Chabon it is.  He was on Fresh Air, and he was talking about a moment when he was brought to the feeling of squirm.  I like how I have just converted to using Capitalization to start my sentences a couple back.  better…?  he was talking about letting something out of your self and putting it to paper, for the world to read, knowing that there will be some kind of reactions that would make you squirm to think about how people felt about whatever it is you are sharing.  Follow?  Don’t worry, I barely got this ball rolling.  I was reading some earlier posts to this site, and I was reading them with a feeling of squirm, but I for sure wasn’t feeling any kind of future thought about those things when  was writing them.  Not like Chabon was describing when he was thinking about what i was like to write about having sex with one of his mothers friends when he was 15.  Would I have that same squirm if I admitted  it would be Cat, Rita, Then Becky in that order had I the same options as Chabon did?   I kind of like the numbness that sometimes comes from these words, don’t worry, it’s a good numb, a medicating one.  Other people medicate with far worse stuff.  I wonder if I should medicate more, or just keep it random.  I tried the forced daily writing time.  I actually think I should try that again.  See you in AM then.  Maybe I have better squirm possibilities in the morning.

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